Happy Mother's Day to a Mom long gone....

I've been thinking of my Mom a lot lately. A lot more than I ever did in my entire life.  I don't know if it's this new blogging thing I've been doing but, I really have started to miss her. Finally! It's not like it's a bad thing that I miss her. It's actually a good thing. Maybe I am starting to finally grieve?  Anyway, I decided to write her a letter and tell her all about my life and what has happened since she left... so, here goes....


Dear Ma,

I miss you deeply.  I wish you never left when you did.  I am glad I was there to hold your hand, to lay with you, to watch you take that last breath. I'm happy you were surrounded by love.  I don't remember much of you, after all, I was just a teen.  You were my Mom, and sadly, not yet a friend. After you left, my life went on.  I married Keith and I know the promise he made to you.  We finally had children, your youngest grandchildren.  Mom, they are so awesome! I wish you could share in their lives with me!

X-man is a great kid, he's smart. He's a lot like I was at four. He wants to know everything and learning comes natural to him. I just wish he enjoyed reading as much as I did.  Addy-bee is a sweet little girl.  But, she is definitely your curse on me! :o) She is so stubborn at times.  She's truly a girl.  She wants what she wants and when she wants it. Much like I was. No, exactly like I was.  You would love them Ma and they would have loved you.  It's tough trying to explain to them that you were their other Grandma. It's hard for them to understand.  They do say they know you're with Jesus in Heaven so, maybe they have some sense of who you were.

I wish I had pictures of you.  Lots of pictures and not just a simple few.  I wish I had more to remember you by, more photos, momentos and such.  I do have your passion for yarn. I even have all your needles.  I try to teach myself to knit, it's hard.  I crochet instead.  You taught me how when I was seven and I never forgot. I've made a lot of adorable things for the kids, just like you would have!

Ma, though you were only in my life for a brief 18 years, you taught me a lot about what being a loving parent means.  You taught me to sacrifice things for my family. You taught me to enjoy my children while I have them, to always hug them and always tell them I love them (all the muches in the world).  I'll never forget your last words to me, "Remember I love you and always will." Have a great Mother's Day, Mom, watch over us, we know you're always there!

Your Loving Baby Girl,
Patty